Saturday, March 28, 2009

Windmills of your mind

I had this idea last summer about selecting an emotion, and trying to script it or even put it on canvas…let anything that arouse me to flow out from my thoughts. Then knowing myself, when my cup’s overflow, I need the outlet to release and what if I were to start my oil paint and paint my emotions. The emotions would flow through the paintbrush, into the oil paints that emerge on the canvas would take days or even weeks to complete. So, I decided to start scripting it instead. I started with two scripts, one called, ‘Emotionally Altered’ and the other called, ‘Mosaic Mind’.

‘Emotionally Altered’ was completed last autumn while ‘Mosaic Mind’ is half-finished. I have been editing it over and over again and decided maybe I should put it aside till the next summer. Staring at it page by page doesn’t help but feeling the lack of depth in getting it across is something I need to achieve; I need to convey the story by keeping the truth of the content as close to how it was told to me, by people with dual lives. In my mind the works are representational of real lives and that is conveyed. The more I dwell into their lives, the more I want to reveal the emotions and the burden levied by their culture and governance, which sometimes is so unfair to these people living in the closet.

There is so much uncertainty even with people of such lives. In actuality, the one thing I discovered as I was constructing the script is when people speak and willing to share what they are going through, I see the light bulb flashes across me with images running on my screen. I hear dialogs and see lights flickering, the sun blindingly breaks through blackness and music blast. These are my thoughts that one day, yes, one fine day; this would turn into a movie. I will wait for the day that someone is willing to produce it since I have success with my earlier scripts and with ‘Emotionally Altered’. Seed that thought and let it harvest, I truly believe in it when I share the seed of thought with people who can support me in making the harvest.

‘Mosaic Mind’ can be a little subtle and yet mind provoking. It’s very human that connects with people. It’s pretty tentative. I am sure when completed, the light bulb that momentarily lights up, the orgasm that makes my creative juice flows out of darkness will soon glow up ahead and appear a thousand frames. I still have plenty of work to do to complete the script and probably some things still to clarify.

My mind beckoned a quicker pace as the flow of thought falls and the mind follows the fingers as I type, while listening to the Windmills of your Mind by Alison Moyet.

Windmills of your mind:

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