Saturday, March 28, 2009

Tadashi Murakami - A note to a friend

I may not have been in touched with you or really seen you for a long while, it has been ages and in years, but I know this will not be unappreciated. Even though we are out of sight does not mean we are not in spirit to remember.
You were popular from Saint Martins College of Arts to our days at the School of Economics; it was everyone’s dream to have you in their life. You chosen the path that I was treading; soon after graduation we moved to Hong Kong for a few years and then to Kuala Lumpur to continue building our career paths. Then, with nature's destiny you decided you need to start a family back in the land of the rising sun. I did not follow but headed on to Pakistan, I do not know why, till today I still do not have the answer but all I know was my instinct telling me to stay behind and continue the journey on my own. You were disappointed when I had to refuse the two job offers to move back to Japan. I was a rebel without a cause; not willing to succumb to the pressures of cultures and traditions. I have changed and I am renewed.

Every gesture of love and human kindness makes me crave for the good times we were together. I pray that our path will meet again one day even though you appeared in my shadows for a reason and made an impact in my life for a season. I pray that you will remember the happy moments we spent on the social fa├žade, with our families, in our holidays and the pain in orientating to new places on unfamiliar grounds. You struggled with the diverse culture and people with different believes; yet you proved that you were worthy of your deliverance. All the fuss was because of me. You listened and you did not object to my suggestions. You contributed and you did not complain. You were vulnerable but not fragile. I wish you strength, though I do not doubt your courage. I wish you patience, though I do not doubt your steadfast will. I wish you success, though you have everything you need to have a comfortable life. I wish you happiness, though I know this happiness may not come from me but from your own family which I could not give. But I know your core and I know you more then any mothers and parents who feed and raise their own child. I do not know you today, but I know your foundations. I know what made you, I know you.

I believe in who you must have become to be the beacon of strength and the pillar to your growing family. Today, we are merely a shadow of the past. I am merely having a play back of the silver screen that was created. I co-directed and wrote the script while you produced the final play. I watched today. I do not pretend to still be a friend. I know a shared past does not guarantee a shared present or future. But we shared a life and built a relationship that was meant to be at that moment in time. We share memories of ‘Things Japanese would do’. We share memories of George Michael’s ‘Careless Whisper’ and dancing to Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive". We spend our quiet moments with Edith Piaf and we learn of her story from London West End that we both agreed that Elaine Page was superb in her role. It was my first time listening to her. I remember how grown up you were and yet you sang in your perfected French accent of Edith Piaf’s infectious songs. I was glad that Ms Page was around to provide me the English version to make me understand and mesmerized the tunes. As adults, you were slightly older at college and I was always referred as the pampered one amongst our peers. I cannot help it if the college decided to throw me to an express class and later made me a super freshman but all I can say that I was thankful for coming out earlier than I expected. I might be younger but I had the maturity to drive the relationship that lasted. I might have the experience and you had the choice to be in or out of the relationship. They say a day older in age is a year older in maturity. Well, you certainly seemed younger, not even a year older, then.

I saw who you would become. I saw wisdom and intelligence beyond your years. I saw wit, speed and charm I could only dream of possessing. I saw the grace and determination you continue to plow through the world with. I saw the tools you need to survive this. You have the tools to survive this. You will. Never doubt your ability to persevere, to heal, and to prosper. I know that even though time and distance have come between us and robbed us of the friendship that may have been, we share that young adulthood. I will always be your friend. And I will always be here if you need me.

'Whenever God Closes One Door, He Always Opens Another, Even Though Sometimes It's Hell in the Hallway'

Edith Piaf's 'Non, je ne regrette rien' (1961) bring's back refreshing memories

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