Friday, August 10, 2012

You Are Wrong. So What.

I was taught not to open my mouth when I don’t feel good about someone or have positive things to say about a person. We do not need to say unpleasant things about people nor tighten up to be good either. There are those who often want to be right and surely they must have something to say that hits you to the nail. Damn right, I have to make my point and criticize you for the wrong. Not sure if they do know that there is no right or wrong. Control freaks out there; they want to make a point. Their point is to make you realize where you are failing and by making a point means the world to them. People think about things critically and analytically. When there is nothing good to say then don’t say anything at all.

Incidents like these taught me not to waste my energies and it’s either I shut up or I listen and nod without being rude. I am in no mood to gain positive points to prove who is right and what is wrong. Some people have the pleasure going through historical references and geographical locations to make a point that mess with peoples’ minds. Something that can be wrong, it feels so right. Isn’t it hard for you to see what’s wrong when history and geography takes place? They have been reading a lot that they know. Unless the input of information is of the same level then stay away from being wrong. Don't these people love to debate that reflects the other person’s weakness? Most control freaks cannot help believing that when someone else wrongs them they feel beaten and robbed. "I don't know, is it and I don't care", which is their excuse. The way out of the argument is to be in denial, their way of being right.

It comes in different shapes and sizes
You may in fact think you want to go to law school now. You are wrong. Why do you need to do it now unless if you like arguing and to be right. If you like to argue just for the sake of being contentious, don't pick on your friends and irritate them, go get counseling. Arguing for intellectual challenges is healthy as an intelligent debate. Viewpoints are different and to each their own. We agree just to disagree. It is not necessary to be right all the time. Information and experiences changes with time so are the perspectives, our belief systems, attitudes and the realities that makes us differentiates the right with the wrong. There is no right or wrong. It can be a myth or just a point of view, which was taken from somewhere and not being able to find its authenticity. It is just concept. Being right and wrong is ones way to demonstrate ones inner intelligence. Could it be undermining ones insecurities too?

An artist would agree that in art there is no right or wrong. Whichever way you paint the picture, you are still painting the picture. To the control freaks out there, they become the judge and jury to their own opinions that generally delivering a death statement, “See I told you so”. I am not in a pursuit of perfection and driving myself to get it right. I am seeking freedom from the confines of what’s right or wrong. I love to be free and have the ability to appreciate the innocent of beauty and creativity. There are those endless struggles to judge and prove their intellectual superiority. There are people in the world, who are just wrong, and there are the masses of population that are right. Who am I to judge what’s right or wrong? I don’t lie nor do I hide in the veil of between. It’s not that I do not have a backbone or a mind of my own. Again, I must stress that I am nobody. I have a body like everyone else. I can feel my perspiration and I can feel the heat against my skin. I have senses but it’s just that I am empty inside. Everything is an experience. There is no one who can decide what is right and what is wrong. Because what is right to you maybe wrong to me. So what’s your point?

Green, red and yellow or any other colours
Beethoven said that it's better to hit the wrong note confidently, than hit the right note unconfidently. Never be afraid to be wrong or to embarrass yourself; we are all students in this life, and there is always something more to learn.

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

The Unpolished Gem

As I share my thoughts I am reminded the awesome privilege of being a guardian to my two boys. It takes great responsibilities and commitment plus loads of patience. There are many qualities I admire in my youngest boy that has make me change the way I see myself. It has changed my life, which I am grateful for the change. I have the honor of being a best friend and guardian. Most fathers do not know how to admire their sons or does anyone know what a wonderful gift they are to their fathers.

My youngest boy is like an unpolished gem. He has a character that to me is genuine and authentic with an honest barometer of what I believe is good attitude. Like many of us have our own quirks and idiosyncrasies and he was my source of change to become a more patient person. It is a virtue that I cultivated and nurtured over time. Learning to respect the differences and the space that we hold in our own comfort zone is very important in our relationship.

I didn’t have such an enormous level of genuineness compared to my youngest boy. How could I when I was such an opinionated pig and it usually takes a while for me open up to new people that I meet for the first time? He has the ability to be real, authentic and honest whilst, his guardian was living in a superficial world surrounded by professionals from the advertising industry who thinks they have the license to be one.

Feeling comfortable in one's skin and being true to one's self is one of the most beautiful traits one can possess. I am glad that he has the honesty to be who he is. Most parents would be proud to claim that they have brought up their children based on their own values. As a guardian, I believe in openness and therefore I am really open with my two boys. I share with them in all honesty of my experiences in life and not necessary that they are all good or bad but it was a matter of choices I made and we often have open conversations over it. They feel very comfortable with the openness and they share their private and intimate moments too. It is through the openness from the start that allows them to share their thoughts and honesty with me. When you can be like that with someone I think it speaks volumes about the level of your relationship with each other, or how they see you as a person.

The unpolished gem when crafted becomes polished and shines. I believe the nicest qualities about the youngest boy will make him an excellent friend and employee but I doubt they will help him climb the ladder to success. But I know it will serve him emotionally well and that he will become a better man. Humility is also an extraordinary trait that makes him special and his integrity is one of the special characteristics that are unique of him.

For all the good qualities that I admire, I could never bring myself to lie or to tell him a white lie. My wish for him is to get the heck out of his comfort zone and get out of the city. See the mountains, oceans, deserts and flat places in between. Go to the off beaten tracks or to the big cities and discover more. I am very glad he followed my advice and he is still continuing his journey of discovery. The true changes began when I took my eyes off changing my child and started changing myself.

Papa, Papito

I enjoyed the times when I used to hang out with my eldest boy and his friends when we were clubbing past midnight and to the karaoke bars singing till the sun rises in the morning. Those were the times that I really enjoyed the most and his friends thought we were brothers, which I enjoyed the fact that it makes me feel young. I dread the day when someone would offer me a seat in a crowded bus or train as how young ones have been brought up or public service campaigns on television to remind the young ones to offer their seats to senior citizens. I freaked out the first time when someone called me an Uncle, an Asian way of addressing an elderly person in Asian politeness. It was when the bells started to ring in my ears alerting me that I have past my youth.

Friends told me that when they moved to Hong Kong they had to get used to every Tom, Dick and Harry or Juliet, Jane and Mary calling them Uncle. It is a matter of respect although some of them were not very much younger. In other countries around South America or in Ecuador, I would be addressed as papa or usually papito. Don't we wish that we can still remain young and still be admired? Age is just a number but don’t we love being admired.

My eldest boy offer to stand while I take the seat

Thursday, July 26, 2012

The Little Idiosyncrasies Makes A Life Partner

I have many friends who are reaching their forties or past their forties and yet still looking for their life partners. Choosing a life partner who is right for you is not like rocket science. It usually starts from expectations and it depends how much of it is from your belief system. The more expectations one has makes it even more difficult to match with the perfect match. Feelings are important; one needs to feel for it and for the other to experience your being. When you set high expectations for yourself, the other person should be able to see you as being difficult as non-compatible. I remember when I started dating at a very young age. The sexual attraction and the romantic side of dating easily sidetracked me. I could not differentiate between lust and love, if I wanted a lover or someone that satisfy my sexual appetite. Appetites will change, just like how I consume my foods. My taste varies and I hate being called a butterfly but I like the vulnerability of being one.

While looking for the life partner, we should review within ourselves with the principles of Be, Do, Have. Begin with the person you want to be that allows you to do the things you want to do, so that you can have the results of what you want to achieve. In the same way I share these with others; what is it that we have to be, what do I have to do and what is it that I must have to achieve the results that we want. We make things happen. We do not change people. We often tell our self that we can live with the other person’s habit but we try to change that person to be like us. Isn’t it funny, why should we want to change a person. The only person I know that wants a change is the baby when it is wet. Ironically, we should change what we don't like about others as we evolve in a relationship with our partner. Start practicing the Be, Do, Have and you will never be the same again.

Honestly, the qualities of my life partner are the least closes to my ideal and maybe it is the differences that are meant for us to evolve till today. Or it could be fate and destiny that makes us arrive at this point. I accept my partner for all the idiosyncrasies and I dedicate this to my lifetime partner. The beauty of humanity is the variation from one to another. Then it brings me to the question, is love the most important thing? The initial years were for love and after it has evolved, it is now about compatibility and the ability to live together when you are old. Whenever people ask if they should be marrying the person they met. My question to them is whether if they can see themselves living together with the other person when they are older, such as when they are 50 years old to 60 years old. Most response I get is they have no such farsightedness. Although the picture can be a bit blurry yet it is still there. Lacking the ability to neither focus nor visualize your potential life partner then it is a bit scary and it is not meant to be.

Of course there are many songs and movies attest to their love ones, all sing of love that we wish at one time or another. It is a gift when you have a life partner and that person stays with you for better or for worst. But when your partner is gone, we will remember all the wonderful stuffs, the little idiosyncrasies that only you would know, that is what makes that person your life partner. I remember watching the movie, “Goodwill Hunting” in which Robin Williams was describing about his wife in the movie. He talks about his character’s wife’s little idiosyncrasies and was telling Matt Damon that she knew all his little peccadilloes. People call these things imperfections, but they are not. They were the good stuff.

I see trees of green........ red roses too I see em bloom..... for me and for you.
Here is a scene of Sean and Will sitting together on a park bench in the movie of Goodwill Hunting.
Sean: Do you have a soul mate?
Will: Define that.
Sean: Someone you can relate to, someone who opens things up for you.
Will: Sure, I got plenty.
Sean: Well, name them.
Will: Shakespeare, Nietzsche, Frost, O'Conner...
Sean: Well that's great. They're all dead.
Will: Not to me, they're not.
Sean: You can't have a lot of dialogue with them.
Will: Not without a heater and some serious smelling salts.

Quotes from Goodwill Hunting – 1997 (Goodwill Hunting written by Matt Damon & Ben Affleck)

Friday, July 13, 2012

Let Your Spirit Fly!: Running Away

Let Your Spirit Fly!: Running Away: Both the elder and youngest boys’ graduation were the proudest moment of my life, to know the years spent nurturing and coaching have paid o...

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Running Away

Both the elder and youngest boys’ graduation were the proudest moment of my life, to know the years spent nurturing and coaching have paid off and the joy to see them accomplishing so much. The lessons in life I often share with my two boys are to live life with no regrets. Imagine one day when we whine or lie on our own death bed thinking of the past mistakes or broken promises and wish that life had taken a different turn. So I have decided long ago that I shall not waste my energies on small things that don’t matter and start living my life to the fullest. That’s such a big word, ‘Fullest’ and what it means to me is ‘Full On’. That is to be inspired and move on. Refresh and renew. Do new things in new ways. If not, do old things in new ways.

I am running away to lead a nomadic life. Travelling is something everyone loves to do. The best part of travelling is when I am not governed by time and to be able to live in different places with a degree of freedom to see the world. I travel around the world and I enjoy the experiences so that one day when I look back, I can say I have done all the things I have wished with no regrets.

I believe I can fly
I run. I run for my health. I run for my life. When I’m out of breath, or when my legs fell like they can’t go on, I think of my body and soul. My body will wear out one day but my soul will remain forever. I am not my body. I am not my feelings. I am not me. I am the sum of my total experiences that I have gained and the choices I make to live each day so that there are no regrets.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Remembering A Friend

A death in a family is a sad event but I don’t call it stressful as what others would think. The death of my mom wasn’t difficult as I am pleased that she didn’t have to suffer much from cancer apart from the last few weeks when her organs were shutting down day by day. One evening, I received news of a friend who also died of cancer but at a very young age. My friend Andrienne Wong, is a strong, loving and powerful woman. I’m sorry to hear of her death. She’s a sister to my best friend, Adrian Wong, and having to confront with such news is especially painful. I have dealt with such sudden disruption when both my mom and dad passed away.

Death is part of life. Someone once told me that there are two things in life that we cannot escape; one is our taxes and the other is death. I have experienced the earlier and I know with the latter, death is a part of life’s cycle. We will one day lose the people we love, and the universal question is, “How do we get through this?”

Grieving the loss of our loved ones is a long process that may take time but with my mom I was prepared when the day I was told of her cancer. I prayed and asked that my mom could have a quality life and that the highest of the above to allow her to enjoy as long as she can while prolonging the battle of the big ‘C’. Then I also asked during her last few weeks that she don’t have to suffer and to take her away. I was happy that the highest of the above heard my prayers and have my wishes answered.

Grieving the loss of a friend or a loved one takes time, even when the death was expected. As a friend to Andrienne Wong, I experience many emotions, including shock and disbelief that she’s gone, when I thought she was recovering. I’m experiencing many emotions, anger of “How could this happen?” and guilt of ‘did I do enough to help her?” which eventually the emotions swell and subside, over and over. With my dad’s death, I experienced an emotional roller coaster of ups and downs and I hid it so well away from friends. I trust time does heal and we have to trust the process.

We remember our loved ones and our friends who are no longer with us here, but touched our lives with their presence and their love and are with us in spirit. We remember our loved ones on their birthdays, on special occasions and on anniversary dates or even just because they are heavy on our hearts today. I remember my friend Andrienne Wong, it's true, and she was truly loved. From the moment I met her, she had an immediate impact on me. She was smart, funny, outgoing and so full of ideas. She was eager to share her story and passionate about raising awareness of the unique issues. She was positive and upbeat but she was all, ‘a ray of sunshine’ in a very “real” way. I always appreciated her way of asking me questions, straight to the point and wry sense of humor.

She had full of determination and organized, a loving mother and serious about the things that she’s determined to do. She managed to manifest everything she feared and I value all the good that Andrienne had done in making a difference to others, some big and some small differences. I choose to remember the good times with her that enriches me even now and I share her direct and honest approach, especially when confronted with questions about my colorful life.

I may have rambled so much but it takes a lot to know a friend and to cherish the times we shared before the enrollment and after AsiaWorks. Andrienne maintained a positive attitude and even much stronger in dealing with the excruciating pain. Her smile and her eyes makes you aware that she wants to end her journey with a purpose. That was Andrienne… just one more thing to do….one more look at you….one more laugh… one more hug….one more I love you….and one more farewell… Thank you, Andrienne Wong, for sharing so much of your self with us. We miss you!

"It takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and a lifetime to forget them."

Monday, February 27, 2012

Fat Reduction

Faced with constant reminders about what to do (exercise more, eat better) and what not to do (over spend, over eat), and fatigued from several years of austerity, consumers will look for ways to live a little without giving up a lot. People have been exercising more self-control, and increasingly they’re looking to let loose once in a while; indulging in sinful things, splurging on treats and at least momentarily escaping from today’s many worries.

The fat taxes is the new tax sin; in a bid to put the brakes on obesity, governments will try to push consumers away from unhealthy foods with cost disincentives. In 2011, Hungary introduced an added tax for foods with high fat, salt and sugar content, along with a higher tariff on soda (and alcohol), while Denmark added a tax for high-saturated fat foods. Similar legislation was proposed in Australia and Britain. And at year-end, France approved a tax on sugary soft drinks. Look for more national and local government to follow.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Steam from the Top

Lately I have been less into blogging for some reasons or the other that makes me somewhat into a wandering state. My mind moves so much faster than my own pace which most often makes it difficult for me to sleep most nights. Lots of thoughts are coming and going. At one time I want to write a story, then at another I want to start a new blog on cooking and some other random musings. But there are so many thoughts that I have become a little uncomfortable. I need to organize them. After much of contemplation, finally I have decided on making a notebook and jotting down all my thoughts, and maybe I will have to start my next chapter that is related to food. First thing I need is to start cooking for friends and make lovely food shots for the recipe collection. Cooking has been a passion since young when I watched my mom busy preparing food from the kitchen.

I often love to cook a spread and entertain friends to my home. Since arriving in China, I do not have the luxury of inviting friends over to wine and dine due to the limited space in my studio apartment. The absence of my favorites that were left behind; mainly the cutleries and dining set that makes me proud when I display them with envy. The plates, the bowls and everything on the dining table are specially selected with the food served. Even the napkin, the tablecloth and the wine glass have to match with the food theme. That shows how meticulous and painstaking to prepare for my guests which I usually enjoy. Cooking is my passion and I love to entertain. I often divert my work stress towards preparing the food. Planning the menu usually makes me run wild since I have loads and loads of my favourite recipes that I can showcase. Maybe, one day my friends will ask me to cater for their private dining parties. One of my wishful dreams and just like anyone’s wish of marrying a Prince, mine is to cook and cater for private dining at home.

The highest climax one can steam

Possibilities or even a dream, why not. Probably then I will be able to reach a sense of stability and knowing that I love what I am doing. The pleasure of eating and the passion to cook is one of my favourite things. I am eager to return home and enjoy the art of cooking; to slap the dough around, massage the chicken with spices, grill the vegetables with a drizzle of virgin olive oil, and roast the garlic and set the oven temperature on high. I love to think how delicious egg plants or tomatoes are pan fried with duck fat; pure, unadulterated fat that gives it the real flavour.

Julia Child described the signs of doneness in a roast chicken as “a sudden rain of splatters in the oven, a swelling of the breast, and a light puff of the skin, and the drumstick is tender when pressed and can be moved in its socket”.

Well just as it is, my 6-inch iron will not fit the whole roast. I prefer the breast or the leg whichever that suits my taste of the day. Thrusting the bird with the 6-inch is not what Jamie Oliver of the Naked Chef will use for his roast. The shallow iron skillet is one that is handy for an all-in-one dinner dish. Start with quick searing to lock the taste and let it rest in the bed of greens before it is left to grill in the oven. I prefer cooking for many like a wishful list of orgies that one can’t imagine the numbers but to some, they prefer the simple pleasures of cooking for one. The kitchen can be a lonely place without stimulation and knowing that I am preparing a food orgy for my guests make the difference which is more pleasurable than the highest climax one can steam from the top. And to write about such pleasures with joy which is one of my talents of evocative writing, then flaunt with experiences and spice it with other flavours.

Friday, July 29, 2011

Learn To Dance In The Rain

I just wrote a note to Vinny sharing with her of my experience and I thought I should share this same note with you.

To my dear friend Vinny,
Let me share this personal note of experience with you. When I was reflecting back the year 2008 and this was what I noted back then:

It was the year of fire
The year of destruction
Blizzards that hit many cities last winter
The year of great sadness
The May 12 earthquake in Sichuan province
And a year of joy
The Beijing Olympic Games
The year of pain
The tainted milk scandal
An eventful year
There are still people dying
People in the world suffering
From war, poverty, illness and natural calamities
They say it will get worse before it gets better
I hope we saw the worst
that the year of uncertainty is now clearing
To a Happy New Year.

Thinking back, I got to appreciate the journey that I’m going through.

Some asked me on my birthday, “What makes me happy?” and I honestly said I know when I’m not happy and it’s been these recent years that I realized that I’ve been truly happy. Could it be the sign of ageing or the sign of prosperity that’s making me happy? I guess being happy is when I’m like my work, I do not have to worry about my expenses and that I’m financially sound, and most importantly I have friends who cares a lot for me.

"Life's not about waiting for the storms to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain." ~ Vivian Greene ~

This beautiful quote gives me inspiration and it’s the power of thought that changes the way I see and feel the happenings around me, the challenges and the downturns of my life. Struggles with my personal life, no, but it’s more of a struggle at work and with my team. We all face adversity at work and how we address the challenges and the way we react to it that will determine the comfort and learning curves that makes work interesting. During tough times, it challenges me to feel with utmost regrets for making the wrong choices, feeling sorry for the misfit. Then I came across a reading that lifted my soul in knowing that with gratitude…. I should learn to dance in the rain.

It almost sounds too simple to feel important, but one word...gratitude, can change your attitude, and thus, your life forever. An excerpt taken from my reading would describe best..."When we choose not to focus on what's missing from our lives, but are grateful for the abundance that's present...we experience heaven on earth."

Read this sharing:


"Any day I'm vertical is a good day"
...that's what I always say.
If you ask me, "How are you?"
I'll answer, "GREAT!"
because in saying so, I make it so.
When Life gives me dark clouds and rain,
I appreciate the moisture that brings a soft curl to my hair.
When Life gives me sunshine,
I gratefully turn my face up to feel its warmth on my cheeks.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Murakami's Colorful Dreamscape

"Memories are what warm you up from the inside. But they're also what tear you apart." — Haruki Murakami (Kafka on the Shore)

Kafka on the Shore

Kafka on the Shore is a story about a fifteen-year-old bookworm who calls himself Kafka and runs away from home, partly to look for his long-missing mother and sister, but mostly to get away from his horrible father, whose crimes against him are never fully explained. Fate draws him to a town where, among other things, he meets two women who may well be his mother and sister, which doesn't prevent him from having sex with them. His story, which is as Oedipal as they come, is intersected with that of Nakata, a sixty-year-old simpleton who speaks kindly and politely to everyone he meets. A pleasant old man, who never recovered from a wartime affliction, a bizarre childhood accident left him learning-disabled, and unable to read or write. His needs, like his thoughts, are simple. Nakata now is drawn toward Kafka for reasons that, like the most basic activities of daily life, he cannot fathom. Their odyssey is enriched throughout by vivid accomplices and mesmerizing events that transpires both Kafka's and Nakata's lives are interconnected, but exactly how this is doesn't become clear until the end, if indeed it does then.

It's one of the most engaging and magical pieces of literature I've read. Reality is unclear. The book presses the boundaries of what exists around the characters versus what exists in their minds. Powerful forces guide the characters with some known, some unknown. Odd things happen within the context of everyday Japan. A beautiful weave of metaphysical, philosophy, and wonderful characters that is both 'global' and 'Japanese'. Oedipal theory put to music, Hegelian subject given a body, Beethoven symphonies come to life. What I do admire about ‘Kafka on the Shore’ is its dichotomous structure and the way the two stories are intertwined and brought together towards the end. Not surprisingly, parallel worlds begin to intersect; the real world and the other side get all mixed up.

Murakami is obviously someone who thought deeply and originally about his world and theories he comes in contact with. Much like Kafka and Nakata and many of those they meet including some of the kitties. Only in a Murakami novel would you find raining fish, ghosts, people who are able to talk to cats, and Colonel Saunders (yes, of KFC) popping up as if it's completely the norm. This was one of those books that totally engulfed me. It was a trial having to put it down to go to work or sleep.

In all Murakami novels I have read so far, there were always some strong themes that stood out even in wild, mind-bending storylines. I loved his simple and trusting mind. One of my favorite parts of the novel was the way Beethoven's music struck a chord with him and stirred something inside him. I wish there was a bit more about how music brought about some kind of transformation of his persona. I also feel a lot of sympathy for Nakata. Due to a strange accident during the WWII he lost his ability to have feelings and memories. Imagine what living like that would be!

Haruki Murakami (村上春樹) is a popular contemporary Japanese writer and translator. His work has been described as "easily accessible, yet profoundly complex." Critics suggest his work draws from film noir and contains elements of magical realism.

Most of the things which I love about Murakami's writing are his completely ordinary characters which usually find themselves in completely extraordinary circumstances, and still rise to the occasion without batting an eye. I enjoyed ‘A Wild Sheep Chase’ is the endearing humor. I missed the music of the words which brought to life the prose of ‘Norwegian Wood’. I missed the splendid descriptions of scenes which made ‘Wild Sheep Chase’ so memorable. I loved ‘Kafka on the Shore’ although it lacks the emotional resonance of ‘Norwegian Wood’ (my favorite Murakami book so far) and because Philip Gabriel's translation is a little too American for my taste.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

CONFUSION from the heart

See my footprints. I have moved on. A victim of a raped soul. I’m just running, I’m only human.

Edison Chen is now making his comeback with a new album ‘Confusion’.

He’s grown, suffered and survived and now he’s ready to take the storm. Edison Chen aka EDC whose budding career went up in flames when he became a victim of stolen files that bared all, seen all and as he leaps from his chair and raises his voice, “I’m naked, man! I feel that way; do you understand what I mean? I’m stripped down to the bare. There’s nothing you haven’t seen. I’m good. I’m fine. I’ve let that all go. I’m not self-conscious anymore because I can’t be. There’s nothing left to be self-conscious about.” He was stripped down to the bare in many sense, he is now ready to uncover his past with renewed energies to his new album, ‘Confusion’. Some of his songs have already been released over the past few months and have been getting a lot of attention. Like “Mr. Sandman“, he got to do a collaborative version with Sammi Cheng and MC Hot Dog. The album took longer to create than any album he’s ever produced. It took him three years and he penned over 160 songs during the period when he left the entertainment industry. When he first started writing the songs, they were very angry, hateful and dark; a reminiscence of the past. A victim of an unfortunate raped soul, ignored by many whom he thought was his friends. All these painful experiences came from the scandal when he thought he had a group of close friends in Hong Kong but when shit hit the fan, these people pretended like they didn’t know him. Disappointing but yet it became crystal clear that as a person, he was nothing to them. Finding a bunch of real friends since then has really meant a lot to him.

Then his second batch of songs that he was writing was kind of lost with no hope and no feelings. His third batch came which was more like he was ready to come back with a positive note; the best lyrics and ideas condensed into a single album, his journey from his fallen world back to the studio for the recordings and came his most personal album ‘Confusion’. EDC is now back to show people through challenges and adversity. It is through perseverance and self-faith, there’s a light at the end of every tunnel.

Let’s not judge
Let’s not ridicule
Hold no grudge
Renew the fuel
Forgive and to forget, we are only human.

Hear the cry
Feel the pain
Leave the past
See my footprints
I have moved on, I am a victim of the past.

I’m dark with dirt
A victim of a raped soul
I have been in the cold
Hold my hand Mister Sandman
I’m just running, I’m only human.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Life Map

Life innovation is hopeless without design, innovate and become permenantly intertwined.

When I decided to do a mapping of the years of work into 6 categories, I realized the colorful moments that makes my work life interesting. Multitasking is the key essence to my work and I play many roles in the activities I serve. I consider myself being a writer when I had to complete my research studies on clinical psychology; a subject that I had to complete while working on a post degree. At least now I’m still continuing to write in other areas to supplement my strong appetite for creativity. When I started with consumer engagement at retail, I couldn’t imagine doing anything else but play the role as a consumer (aren’t we all consumers) and design the journey of experiences. As I worked more and got more projects to handle, my expertise broadens to other areas of creativity that caught my interest. I know my strengths as well as my own weaknesses and I am able to ride on people’s strengths to contribute to my journey of success. All these successes came as a surprise as they were evolved from the man in the suit to a path that wasn’t planned but I was willing to take on the challenges that make my work life journey interesting.

Spark tingles like sexual voyeurism

Recently, I have this fondness for Faye Wong’s music. When Faye Wong first launched her album, she was known as Shirley Wong and later on she took on the name, Faye Wong with many billboard hits that made her one of the heavenly queens in Hong Kong. At that time, I still could not connect with her songs or understand what she was rattling. I couldn’t even believe a song with no lyrics, basically noise and rhythm could hit top of the charts. I can still remember her with her signature make-up, like a Kabuki performer in concerts with packs of crowd following her. There was once when she was seated next to me at a dinner party in Hong Kong and we chatted, not knowing who she was. Obviously, I couldn’t recognize her without her colorful make-up till a friend from the next table asked how did I know her. I was even more uncomfortable when I realized who she was that was seated next to me and there goes my small talk with her that changes everything, from a stranger I met to a singer I know. Now having moved to China, winds of change after 10 years or more, I have been listening to Faye Wong's songs but sometimes not the words. I know, heresy. But it's the truth, I listen to her for the way she sounds and that includes the sound of the words. The literal meaning of the lyrics, or what people used to call the "message", is secondary, which is just one dimension of her art. In her folk-pop-culture ascendance, Wong's songs were scrutinized for coded messages; supposedly embedded "between the lines", its satirical ditty about the superficiality that makes her the Cold Queen as she is known. Her songs can be so cathartic that the spark tingle my bones like sexual voyeurism; songs too can stimulate us when it touches the soul or at least tacitly, if not often explicitly.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Start From The Top

Passion is the intensity of life, imagination the creativity and it will take you everywhere.

It’s spring time again and I feel that there’s a lot of things going on in my head but yet I can’t think of anything that’s bothering me. Am I losing my passion over something or have I lost interest in everything that I have in life? At times like this, I would approach it with an open mind to avoid fighting with my own divided self and find the way out of this paradox. Or should I just opt for a hypnotic seduction and dwell into the question of who am I?

Often many people seem lost as to really who they are when being confronted. I am in transition from a pure imagination that flaunts and manipulate the realms of my imagination. Who am I is not as important as to what I am doing while in transition. I am an amateur writer of erotic fiction, and a hypnosis practitioner. Soon to be harvesting the sexual energies to include erotic hypnosis as one of my practices and to become a tantric guru to all those who have lost touch with their inner sensitivity of beauty and sex to distress. The beautiful part of being in trance is the ability to reach orgasm; the erotic seduction that captures the imagination yet controls the sexual energies. While I enjoy the moment of being in experience, I am also experiencing the escalating rise of energy from no excitement to a peak of excitement. It is a cascade effect like the waterfall; you start from the top as it goes down.

I have often been posted with this positioning question and it seems like a common interest to most people that I know in China. Whether it’s out of curiosity or a matter of being straight to the dash, I wish someone could tell me why. I hate being asked when confronted and most often my reply was, does it matter since I have neither preference nor interest in any way or position to the subject matter. I hate this subject, so I thought I would air it here. I have no problem telling people that my toilet paper rolls from the top. Does it have to be put on a specific way so it rolls off the top or from the bottom? It is really not important one way or another. I have not the slightest care which way it is, or even if it is on the spindle at all. All I care is if it’s there when I need it.

But it does matter when I bake cakes and I usually go for the top otherwise it could burn at the bottom. So move away from being stereotypes and frankly, being versatile would be the best as long as it is safe. So don’t get burn with issues that need to be confronted. One thing about me that has grown is the comfort in my own skin about who I am.

“Your imagination is your preview of life’s coming attractions.” ~ Albert Einstein

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Other pleasures

A simple meal on its own

I enjoy eating good foods and therefore I am critical on what is served on the table. I grew up hanging around the kitchen watching my mom preparing the meals for the day. At times I had to sneak into the kitchen to cook following recipes from my sister’s cook book from her cookery classes. I love to cook and create new flavours with my favourite ingredients. Cooking is one of my passions which helps me to channel my creative energies which I enjoy doing. It’s like an intimate act that uses my hand movements to touch and peel the vegetables; chop the garlic and squeeze the ginger, or pinch the salt, all these with my palm, fingers and thumb to get the right measurements. Dry or wet, it requires different amount of pressures. Then I use my hands to knead and roll the dough, roll and twist the pastries, then gentle tap my finger to press at the edge of the dough when it’s done.

I can’t stand lazy cooks that follow short-cuts or use left-over’s to prepare a lazy dish. Cooking is all about flair and flavour. A lazy cook is worst than somebody who simply cannot cook. A person who cannot cook can be trained, but a lazy cook knows exactly what they are doing. It's easy to spot a lazy cook. When was the last time you had a bad eating experience? It’s either the service or the restaurant having a lazy chef. Absurd owners with lazy chefs hide their sloppiness by going heavy on chili, garlic, or anything else with one distinct flavour that dominates attempt at delicacy. These lazy chefs supplement their non-efforts by putting out a basket of killers like salt, hot sauce and ketchup. Just trip into the kitchen and check for tell tale signs of their laziness. One of the things you should never see is a microwave in there. Microwaves should only be used to melt butter, chocolate or for defrosting and nothing else. There should not be pre-mixed powders that are used to make sauces. Good sauces are usually make from scratch and these takes hours to prepare, an honest to goodness way to make good sauces. There is no excuse for lazy cooking and don't let your meal be ruin by a lazy chef. Educate yourself and you will find it easier to avoid disappointment.

Making a meal and inviting friends over to wine and dine is an intimate act in itself, to share the food is even more pleasurable.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Simple Pleasures

I went to the gym yesterday and did weights and today I ran 6 miles in an hour! My t-shirt turned into a wetsuit and you could see through it a mere two-pack that hibernated for the last 6 months is reappearing! Don’t I wish for a six-pack now this summer?

I learned to accept the simple pleasures of life and during the course of much relocation over the years; I started to appreciate the space around my home. A home to me is a space where I can see everything from the same floor level, openness with walls, roof, windows and door that can be opened and closed. It must have a place to cook, a place to eat, a big resting place, and a place to read and go online. Bigger or more doesn’t mean its better. It just says that you need to take care of it and be more responsible. It means more hassle in cleaning unless there’s the cleaning lady where you wouldn’t mind if she invades your privacy. I have stopped collecting things for the house to keep my space free from clutter. It also means I have less things to ship back when I need to move back home or relocate to another country one day. Now what I need is the simple pleasures of life. The best way I’ve found to find inspiration is to not go looking. Need Inspiration? Get out of the home. Go outside and it’s free. But need concentration? Get in, stay at home and focus.

There are times when I wish to have long sabbatical leave and travel. This time I’m taking just a short summer break to Japan where I been visiting so often and a place which I’m never bored. Everything in the land of the rising sun or to the gai-jin (foreigners) it’s the land of wasabi, is just perfect. I love those cool Japanese inspired items. One thing that I love to do when I’m in Japan is to visit the public baths and onsen. An onsen (温泉) is a term for hot springs in the Japanese language. A trip to the public bathhouse or Sento is worth the trip for those who want to experience the local culture. The equation is simple: Sento = cleanliness + nakedness + togetherness, without any of the kinky or shamefaced connotations usually associate with full frontal nudity and communal space. It’s a different and relaxing experience compared to the ones in China. The fast pace life in Tokyo and business trips never allowed me the opportunities to take a break to an onsen for some quiet time to unwind. Tomorrow will be my real break to unwind and I choose not to inform my business associates that I will be there to avoid the social networking and obligations, and entertainments. My blogger friends, the free-spirited individuals like myself are planning to meet me in Osaka, wow, I’ve even have dates all planned. I’m all set and ready to go. My Japanese cousin will be waiting for me at Kansai airport and then to Sakai, a long drive outside Osaka city.

I still have not posted the pictures I took from my last trip to Tokyo. I know it has been a really long time since I have posted anything. Watashi wa Nippon ga daisukidesu (I love Japan).

Thursday, June 17, 2010

You are my soul and inspiration

People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Maybe it’s not meant to be. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave.

Most people define soul mates as who you're meant to be with for the rest of your life. I define soul mates as the one you will never be able to forget for the rest of your life. Just because you've found your soul mate, does not necessarily mean you will have a "happily ever after" scenario. Sometimes you have to live with the fact that you will never have the one that you feel so empty without, and you will continue to yearn for them even after this life is over. The only thing that keeps me going is the thought that maybe in my next life, this person, the one that completes who I am, will appear again.

You know it’s coming when it’s knocking at your door. You just know. You will both recognize the extraordinary bond. Through a stream of unlikely yet obviously beautifully orchestrated circumstances that both were drawn into each other’s world. An experience my buddy discovered that was more like fate. The most beautiful of discoveries, the paramount experience of life. A soul mate, a best friend, a lover, a twin flame.

You're my soul and my heart's inspiration
Without you, what good am I, what good am I?

I must just be overcaffeinated or undercaffeinated. Where are you? My soul is a butterfly.

"She's playing our song, but i don't wanna dance tonight you had to slip away, and i'm caught inside the cage again i'm damned if i do and i'm damned if i don't"