Steam from the Top

Lately I have been less into blogging for some reasons or the other that makes me somewhat into a wandering state. My mind moves so much faster than my own pace which most often makes it difficult for me to sleep most nights. Lots of thoughts are coming and going. At one time I want to write a story, then at another I want to start a new blog on cooking and some other random musings. But there are so many thoughts that I have become a little uncomfortable. I need to organize them. After much of contemplation, finally I have decided on making a notebook and jotting down all my thoughts, and maybe I will have to start my next chapter that is related to food. First thing I need is to start cooking for friends and make lovely food shots for the recipe collection. Cooking has been a passion since young when I watched my mom busy preparing food from the kitchen.

I often love to cook a spread and entertain friends to my home. Since arriving in China, I do not have the luxury of inviting friends over to wine and dine due to the limited space in my studio apartment. The absence of my favorites that were left behind; mainly the cutleries and dining set that makes me proud when I display them with envy. The plates, the bowls and everything on the dining table are specially selected with the food served. Even the napkin, the tablecloth and the wine glass have to match with the food theme. That shows how meticulous and painstaking to prepare for my guests which I usually enjoy. Cooking is my passion and I love to entertain. I often divert my work stress towards preparing the food. Planning the menu usually makes me run wild since I have loads and loads of my favourite recipes that I can showcase. Maybe, one day my friends will ask me to cater for their private dining parties. One of my wishful dreams and just like anyone’s wish of marrying a Prince, mine is to cook and cater for private dining at home.

The highest climax one can steam

Possibilities or even a dream, why not. Probably then I will be able to reach a sense of stability and knowing that I love what I am doing. The pleasure of eating and the passion to cook is one of my favourite things. I am eager to return home and enjoy the art of cooking; to slap the dough around, massage the chicken with spices, grill the vegetables with a drizzle of virgin olive oil, and roast the garlic and set the oven temperature on high. I love to think how delicious egg plants or tomatoes are pan fried with duck fat; pure, unadulterated fat that gives it the real flavour.

Julia Child described the signs of doneness in a roast chicken as “a sudden rain of splatters in the oven, a swelling of the breast, and a light puff of the skin, and the drumstick is tender when pressed and can be moved in its socket”.

Well just as it is, my 6-inch iron will not fit the whole roast. I prefer the breast or the leg whichever that suits my taste of the day. Thrusting the bird with the 6-inch is not what Jamie Oliver of the Naked Chef will use for his roast. The shallow iron skillet is one that is handy for an all-in-one dinner dish. Start with quick searing to lock the taste and let it rest in the bed of greens before it is left to grill in the oven. I prefer cooking for many like a wishful list of orgies that one can’t imagine the numbers but to some, they prefer the simple pleasures of cooking for one. The kitchen can be a lonely place without stimulation and knowing that I am preparing a food orgy for my guests make the difference which is more pleasurable than the highest climax one can steam from the top. And to write about such pleasures with joy which is one of my talents of evocative writing, then flaunt with experiences and spice it with other flavours.

Learn To Dance In The Rain

I just wrote a note to Vinny sharing with her of my experience and I thought I should share this same note with you.

To my dear friend Vinny,
Let me share this personal note of experience with you. When I was reflecting back the year 2008 and this was what I noted back then:

It was the year of fire
The year of destruction
Blizzards that hit many cities last winter
The year of great sadness
The May 12 earthquake in Sichuan province
And a year of joy
The Beijing Olympic Games
The year of pain
The tainted milk scandal
An eventful year
There are still people dying
People in the world suffering
From war, poverty, illness and natural calamities
They say it will get worse before it gets better
I hope we saw the worst
that the year of uncertainty is now clearing
To a Happy New Year.

Thinking back, I got to appreciate the journey that I’m going through.

Some asked me on my birthday, “What makes me happy?” and I honestly said I know when I’m not happy and it’s been these recent years that I realized that I’ve been truly happy. Could it be the sign of ageing or the sign of prosperity that’s making me happy? I guess being happy is when I’m like my work, I do not have to worry about my expenses and that I’m financially sound, and most importantly I have friends who cares a lot for me.

"Life's not about waiting for the storms to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain." ~ Vivian Greene ~

This beautiful quote gives me inspiration and it’s the power of thought that changes the way I see and feel the happenings around me, the challenges and the downturns of my life. Struggles with my personal life, no, but it’s more of a struggle at work and with my team. We all face adversity at work and how we address the challenges and the way we react to it that will determine the comfort and learning curves that makes work interesting. During tough times, it challenges me to feel with utmost regrets for making the wrong choices, feeling sorry for the misfit. Then I came across a reading that lifted my soul in knowing that with gratitude…. I should learn to dance in the rain.

It almost sounds too simple to feel important, but one word...gratitude, can change your attitude, and thus, your life forever. An excerpt taken from my reading would describe best..."When we choose not to focus on what's missing from our lives, but are grateful for the abundance that's present...we experience heaven on earth."

Read this sharing:

WEATHER REPORT ~BJ Gallagher~

"Any day I'm vertical is a good day"
...that's what I always say.
If you ask me, "How are you?"
I'll answer, "GREAT!"
because in saying so, I make it so.
When Life gives me dark clouds and rain,
I appreciate the moisture that brings a soft curl to my hair.
When Life gives me sunshine,
I gratefully turn my face up to feel its warmth on my cheeks.

Murakami's Colorful Dreamscape

"Memories are what warm you up from the inside. But they're also what tear you apart." — Haruki Murakami (Kafka on the Shore)

Kafka on the Shore

Kafka on the Shore is a story about a fifteen-year-old bookworm who calls himself Kafka and runs away from home, partly to look for his long-missing mother and sister, but mostly to get away from his horrible father, whose crimes against him are never fully explained. Fate draws him to a town where, among other things, he meets two women who may well be his mother and sister, which doesn't prevent him from having sex with them. His story, which is as Oedipal as they come, is intersected with that of Nakata, a sixty-year-old simpleton who speaks kindly and politely to everyone he meets. A pleasant old man, who never recovered from a wartime affliction, a bizarre childhood accident left him learning-disabled, and unable to read or write. His needs, like his thoughts, are simple. Nakata now is drawn toward Kafka for reasons that, like the most basic activities of daily life, he cannot fathom. Their odyssey is enriched throughout by vivid accomplices and mesmerizing events that transpires both Kafka's and Nakata's lives are interconnected, but exactly how this is doesn't become clear until the end, if indeed it does then.

It's one of the most engaging and magical pieces of literature I've read. Reality is unclear. The book presses the boundaries of what exists around the characters versus what exists in their minds. Powerful forces guide the characters with some known, some unknown. Odd things happen within the context of everyday Japan. A beautiful weave of metaphysical, philosophy, and wonderful characters that is both 'global' and 'Japanese'. Oedipal theory put to music, Hegelian subject given a body, Beethoven symphonies come to life. What I do admire about ‘Kafka on the Shore’ is its dichotomous structure and the way the two stories are intertwined and brought together towards the end. Not surprisingly, parallel worlds begin to intersect; the real world and the other side get all mixed up.

Murakami is obviously someone who thought deeply and originally about his world and theories he comes in contact with. Much like Kafka and Nakata and many of those they meet including some of the kitties. Only in a Murakami novel would you find raining fish, ghosts, people who are able to talk to cats, and Colonel Saunders (yes, of KFC) popping up as if it's completely the norm. This was one of those books that totally engulfed me. It was a trial having to put it down to go to work or sleep.

In all Murakami novels I have read so far, there were always some strong themes that stood out even in wild, mind-bending storylines. I loved his simple and trusting mind. One of my favorite parts of the novel was the way Beethoven's music struck a chord with him and stirred something inside him. I wish there was a bit more about how music brought about some kind of transformation of his persona. I also feel a lot of sympathy for Nakata. Due to a strange accident during the WWII he lost his ability to have feelings and memories. Imagine what living like that would be!

Haruki Murakami (村上春樹) is a popular contemporary Japanese writer and translator. His work has been described as "easily accessible, yet profoundly complex." Critics suggest his work draws from film noir and contains elements of magical realism.

Most of the things which I love about Murakami's writing are his completely ordinary characters which usually find themselves in completely extraordinary circumstances, and still rise to the occasion without batting an eye. I enjoyed ‘A Wild Sheep Chase’ is the endearing humor. I missed the music of the words which brought to life the prose of ‘Norwegian Wood’. I missed the splendid descriptions of scenes which made ‘Wild Sheep Chase’ so memorable. I loved ‘Kafka on the Shore’ although it lacks the emotional resonance of ‘Norwegian Wood’ (my favorite Murakami book so far) and because Philip Gabriel's translation is a little too American for my taste.

CONFUSION from the heart

See my footprints. I have moved on. A victim of a raped soul. I’m just running, I’m only human.

Edison Chen is now making his comeback with a new album ‘Confusion’.

He’s grown, suffered and survived and now he’s ready to take the storm. Edison Chen aka EDC whose budding career went up in flames when he became a victim of stolen files that bared all, seen all and as he leaps from his chair and raises his voice, “I’m naked, man! I feel that way; do you understand what I mean? I’m stripped down to the bare. There’s nothing you haven’t seen. I’m good. I’m fine. I’ve let that all go. I’m not self-conscious anymore because I can’t be. There’s nothing left to be self-conscious about.” He was stripped down to the bare in many sense, he is now ready to uncover his past with renewed energies to his new album, ‘Confusion’. Some of his songs have already been released over the past few months and have been getting a lot of attention. Like “Mr. Sandman“, he got to do a collaborative version with Sammi Cheng and MC Hot Dog. The album took longer to create than any album he’s ever produced. It took him three years and he penned over 160 songs during the period when he left the entertainment industry. When he first started writing the songs, they were very angry, hateful and dark; a reminiscence of the past. A victim of an unfortunate raped soul, ignored by many whom he thought was his friends. All these painful experiences came from the scandal when he thought he had a group of close friends in Hong Kong but when shit hit the fan, these people pretended like they didn’t know him. Disappointing but yet it became crystal clear that as a person, he was nothing to them. Finding a bunch of real friends since then has really meant a lot to him.

Then his second batch of songs that he was writing was kind of lost with no hope and no feelings. His third batch came which was more like he was ready to come back with a positive note; the best lyrics and ideas condensed into a single album, his journey from his fallen world back to the studio for the recordings and came his most personal album ‘Confusion’. EDC is now back to show people through challenges and adversity. It is through perseverance and self-faith, there’s a light at the end of every tunnel.

Let’s not judge
Let’s not ridicule
Hold no grudge
Renew the fuel
Forgive and to forget, we are only human.

Hear the cry
Feel the pain
Leave the past
See my footprints
I have moved on, I am a victim of the past.

I’m dark with dirt
A victim of a raped soul
I have been in the cold
Hold my hand Mister Sandman
I’m just running, I’m only human.

Life Map

Life innovation is hopeless without design, innovate and become permenantly intertwined.

When I decided to do a mapping of the years of work into 6 categories, I realized the colorful moments that makes my work life interesting. Multitasking is the key essence to my work and I play many roles in the activities I serve. I consider myself being a writer when I had to complete my research studies on clinical psychology; a subject that I had to complete while working on a post degree. At least now I’m still continuing to write in other areas to supplement my strong appetite for creativity. When I started with consumer engagement at retail, I couldn’t imagine doing anything else but play the role as a consumer (aren’t we all consumers) and design the journey of experiences. As I worked more and got more projects to handle, my expertise broadens to other areas of creativity that caught my interest. I know my strengths as well as my own weaknesses and I am able to ride on people’s strengths to contribute to my journey of success. All these successes came as a surprise as they were evolved from the man in the suit to a path that wasn’t planned but I was willing to take on the challenges that make my work life journey interesting.

Spark tingles like sexual voyeurism

Recently, I have this fondness for Faye Wong’s music. When Faye Wong first launched her album, she was known as Shirley Wong and later on she took on the name, Faye Wong with many billboard hits that made her one of the heavenly queens in Hong Kong. At that time, I still could not connect with her songs or understand what she was rattling. I couldn’t even believe a song with no lyrics, basically noise and rhythm could hit top of the charts. I can still remember her with her signature make-up, like a Kabuki performer in concerts with packs of crowd following her. There was once when she was seated next to me at a dinner party in Hong Kong and we chatted, not knowing who she was. Obviously, I couldn’t recognize her without her colorful make-up till a friend from the next table asked how did I know her. I was even more uncomfortable when I realized who she was that was seated next to me and there goes my small talk with her that changes everything, from a stranger I met to a singer I know. Now having moved to China, winds of change after 10 years or more, I have been listening to Faye Wong's songs but sometimes not the words. I know, heresy. But it's the truth, I listen to her for the way she sounds and that includes the sound of the words. The literal meaning of the lyrics, or what people used to call the "message", is secondary, which is just one dimension of her art. In her folk-pop-culture ascendance, Wong's songs were scrutinized for coded messages; supposedly embedded "between the lines", its satirical ditty about the superficiality that makes her the Cold Queen as she is known. Her songs can be so cathartic that the spark tingle my bones like sexual voyeurism; songs too can stimulate us when it touches the soul or at least tacitly, if not often explicitly.

Start From The Top

Passion is the intensity of life, imagination the creativity and it will take you everywhere.

It’s spring time again and I feel that there’s a lot of things going on in my head but yet I can’t think of anything that’s bothering me. Am I losing my passion over something or have I lost interest in everything that I have in life? At times like this, I would approach it with an open mind to avoid fighting with my own divided self and find the way out of this paradox. Or should I just opt for a hypnotic seduction and dwell into the question of who am I?

Often many people seem lost as to really who they are when being confronted. I am in transition from a pure imagination that flaunts and manipulate the realms of my imagination. Who am I is not as important as to what I am doing while in transition. I am an amateur writer of erotic fiction, and a hypnosis practitioner. Soon to be harvesting the sexual energies to include erotic hypnosis as one of my practices and to become a tantric guru to all those who have lost touch with their inner sensitivity of beauty and sex to distress. The beautiful part of being in trance is the ability to reach orgasm; the erotic seduction that captures the imagination yet controls the sexual energies. While I enjoy the moment of being in experience, I am also experiencing the escalating rise of energy from no excitement to a peak of excitement. It is a cascade effect like the waterfall; you start from the top as it goes down.

I have often been posted with this positioning question and it seems like a common interest to most people that I know in China. Whether it’s out of curiosity or a matter of being straight to the dash, I wish someone could tell me why. I hate being asked when confronted and most often my reply was, does it matter since I have neither preference nor interest in any way or position to the subject matter. I hate this subject, so I thought I would air it here. I have no problem telling people that my toilet paper rolls from the top. Does it have to be put on a specific way so it rolls off the top or from the bottom? It is really not important one way or another. I have not the slightest care which way it is, or even if it is on the spindle at all. All I care is if it’s there when I need it.

But it does matter when I bake cakes and I usually go for the top otherwise it could burn at the bottom. So move away from being stereotypes and frankly, being versatile would be the best as long as it is safe. So don’t get burn with issues that need to be confronted. One thing about me that has grown is the comfort in my own skin about who I am.

“Your imagination is your preview of life’s coming attractions.” ~ Albert Einstein

Other pleasures

A simple meal on its own

I enjoy eating good foods and therefore I am critical on what is served on the table. I grew up hanging around the kitchen watching my mom preparing the meals for the day. At times I had to sneak into the kitchen to cook following recipes from my sister’s cook book from her cookery classes. I love to cook and create new flavours with my favourite ingredients. Cooking is one of my passions which helps me to channel my creative energies which I enjoy doing. It’s like an intimate act that uses my hand movements to touch and peel the vegetables; chop the garlic and squeeze the ginger, or pinch the salt, all these with my palm, fingers and thumb to get the right measurements. Dry or wet, it requires different amount of pressures. Then I use my hands to knead and roll the dough, roll and twist the pastries, then gentle tap my finger to press at the edge of the dough when it’s done.

I can’t stand lazy cooks that follow short-cuts or use left-over’s to prepare a lazy dish. Cooking is all about flair and flavour. A lazy cook is worst than somebody who simply cannot cook. A person who cannot cook can be trained, but a lazy cook knows exactly what they are doing. It's easy to spot a lazy cook. When was the last time you had a bad eating experience? It’s either the service or the restaurant having a lazy chef. Absurd owners with lazy chefs hide their sloppiness by going heavy on chili, garlic, or anything else with one distinct flavour that dominates attempt at delicacy. These lazy chefs supplement their non-efforts by putting out a basket of killers like salt, hot sauce and ketchup. Just trip into the kitchen and check for tell tale signs of their laziness. One of the things you should never see is a microwave in there. Microwaves should only be used to melt butter, chocolate or for defrosting and nothing else. There should not be pre-mixed powders that are used to make sauces. Good sauces are usually make from scratch and these takes hours to prepare, an honest to goodness way to make good sauces. There is no excuse for lazy cooking and don't let your meal be ruin by a lazy chef. Educate yourself and you will find it easier to avoid disappointment.

Making a meal and inviting friends over to wine and dine is an intimate act in itself, to share the food is even more pleasurable.

Simple Pleasures

I went to the gym yesterday and did weights and today I ran 6 miles in an hour! My t-shirt turned into a wetsuit and you could see through it a mere two-pack that hibernated for the last 6 months is reappearing! Don’t I wish for a six-pack now this summer?

I learned to accept the simple pleasures of life and during the course of much relocation over the years; I started to appreciate the space around my home. A home to me is a space where I can see everything from the same floor level, openness with walls, roof, windows and door that can be opened and closed. It must have a place to cook, a place to eat, a big resting place, and a place to read and go online. Bigger or more doesn’t mean its better. It just says that you need to take care of it and be more responsible. It means more hassle in cleaning unless there’s the cleaning lady where you wouldn’t mind if she invades your privacy. I have stopped collecting things for the house to keep my space free from clutter. It also means I have less things to ship back when I need to move back home or relocate to another country one day. Now what I need is the simple pleasures of life. The best way I’ve found to find inspiration is to not go looking. Need Inspiration? Get out of the home. Go outside and it’s free. But need concentration? Get in, stay at home and focus.

There are times when I wish to have long sabbatical leave and travel. This time I’m taking just a short summer break to Japan where I been visiting so often and a place which I’m never bored. Everything in the land of the rising sun or to the gai-jin (foreigners) it’s the land of wasabi, is just perfect. I love those cool Japanese inspired items. One thing that I love to do when I’m in Japan is to visit the public baths and onsen. An onsen (温泉) is a term for hot springs in the Japanese language. A trip to the public bathhouse or Sento is worth the trip for those who want to experience the local culture. The equation is simple: Sento = cleanliness + nakedness + togetherness, without any of the kinky or shamefaced connotations usually associate with full frontal nudity and communal space. It’s a different and relaxing experience compared to the ones in China. The fast pace life in Tokyo and business trips never allowed me the opportunities to take a break to an onsen for some quiet time to unwind. Tomorrow will be my real break to unwind and I choose not to inform my business associates that I will be there to avoid the social networking and obligations, and entertainments. My blogger friends, the free-spirited individuals like myself are planning to meet me in Osaka, wow, I’ve even have dates all planned. I’m all set and ready to go. My Japanese cousin will be waiting for me at Kansai airport and then to Sakai, a long drive outside Osaka city.

I still have not posted the pictures I took from my last trip to Tokyo. I know it has been a really long time since I have posted anything. Watashi wa Nippon ga daisukidesu (I love Japan).

You are my soul and inspiration

People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Maybe it’s not meant to be. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave.

Most people define soul mates as who you're meant to be with for the rest of your life. I define soul mates as the one you will never be able to forget for the rest of your life. Just because you've found your soul mate, does not necessarily mean you will have a "happily ever after" scenario. Sometimes you have to live with the fact that you will never have the one that you feel so empty without, and you will continue to yearn for them even after this life is over. The only thing that keeps me going is the thought that maybe in my next life, this person, the one that completes who I am, will appear again.

You know it’s coming when it’s knocking at your door. You just know. You will both recognize the extraordinary bond. Through a stream of unlikely yet obviously beautifully orchestrated circumstances that both were drawn into each other’s world. An experience my buddy discovered that was more like fate. The most beautiful of discoveries, the paramount experience of life. A soul mate, a best friend, a lover, a twin flame.

You're my soul and my heart's inspiration
Without you, what good am I, what good am I?

I must just be overcaffeinated or undercaffeinated. Where are you? My soul is a butterfly.


"She's playing our song, but i don't wanna dance tonight you had to slip away, and i'm caught inside the cage again i'm damned if i do and i'm damned if i don't"

The International Prostitue

My memoir, “The secret life as a prostitute”, as I stood there and saw the whole of myself; deciding if the cover should be abstract or real to life as it was told in the story of my life. Am I going to appear on any talk shows? It’s all conflict and drama that makes high ratings. I find it amusing that a show would even try to get me to appear.

I tried writing but somehow never find the time to pen the thought to paper. Now summer is going to change all that as a result of how I prostitute myself to do a memoir for a beloved buddy. Are there other options besides prostituting yourself? Doubts then don’t even dare think of it. Or just screw it. In such moment of extreme clarity or confusion, I just prostitute myself to know how much I’m still worth. Money is not the motivation for me to write though I wish it was. A friend hinted to me that I could hit the publishing lottery which could change my lifestyle. Yes, it’s true that money motivates us to do remarkable things; like harness our creative forces, the skills and the gifts we inherit, unless we are born with zero talent.

Unlike others with qualifying assets and social approvals; I was only equipped with wits and charms, everything I gain were through my collection of the survival of the fittest. Then my ego started to elevate when I get offers for my professional services and maybe some say it was my mouth, the gap that landed me such offers. Please don’t get me wrong, no social lubricants will allow me these passage way. They are my creative forces that pinned with the badge known as the international prostitute. Patience too rewarded me in a way and my track records have proven that I stayed on course long enough for the worthy offer to tempt me to move further and higher. I was elevated to the international prostitute status that makes me relent to the highest bidder as often said, “The highest bidder gets”. What’s wrong with being a whore, figuratively and with my professional services? For those who know me well enough should know that my stand as a professional whore has created lots of opportunities to travel and relocated to places that I have never been before. I love the fact that when someone offers me for my professional services, it sort of raise my ego, stretches the creative juices, and makes me wonder with fear that it will one day dry up like the drought in China.

I have resigned to the fact that money is everything. Now that I am going to do a memoir for a buddy makes me realize that I have the freedom to unveil the wrappings of the loin or maybe for better decency, the linen cloth to make an interesting story. History or his story and his live, the friendship, love, desires and dreams, I wonder would anyone care to read, the pages and pages about the person I know so well. It’s going to be one satisfying and pleasurable summer, all in good fun of course.

Three-step change to "cha-cha-cha"

I used to have a huge collection of vinyl records till the CDs came and dominated my living room which almost blew it all. On the social contacts, the change resonates so well, maybe it is the reason to my sophisticated Chinese behavior. At home, I grew up with the waltz and the Blue Danube famous waltz by Austrian composer Johann Strauss. Dad just loves to play the vinyl from his gramophone and does his shadow waltzing around the house. My consumption of Strauss's Blue Danube waltz gradually expanded to musicals like Phantom of the Opera.

Ballroom dancing is popular and Chinese have been ballroom dancing in parks and dance halls for decades. It was a time when they didn’t during the Cultural Revolution from 1966 to 1976 when the government banned things it saw as foreign and bourgeois. After the Cultural Revolution, people continue doing the waltz and tango in the local parks at night and Beijing is no exception. One thing that never fails to delight me is to stroll at the parks after dark. Now is a good time to be out on a cool spring night and see people; older and middle aged couples dancing the foxtrots, waltz, cha cha to the tunes from a huge boom box speaker. I am for one who can never master the three-step change with the verbal beat to "cha-cha-cha". Identifying the beats and rhythmic counts seems to mess with my hearing sense.

A lot of people don’t feel safe in parks but not here in China. It is safe to venture out into the dark without being afraid. People are friendly and you can join the fun if you are not conscious of the crowd watching you. Almost all the men and women are in their prime and still carrying themselves with all the elegance. There are no glitzes and glitters but only people in simple outfits dancing at the park. At the end of each dance, couples bow, hands clasped together when the music ended, then the static noise before the next song is played.

I know Beijing very well, the parks and hutongs (means old alleyways) which are traditional Chinese neighborhood, houses built. There are many parks where the locals relax, take their pets for a walk, do their Tai Chi exercise, and a host or other things. I saw Domino's, Mah Jong being played, heart choirs singing the Jasmine Flower song (Mòlìhuā) and thousands of people practicing martial arts dance or even Wushu. There are so much activities happening at the park, from sunrise to sunset. I have taken Wushu lessons at the park and have been around Wushu for so long that it is sometimes hard to remember how it felt to discover Wushu for the first time. There have been a lot of friends I have met through Wushu over the years. More than I could really list out in any adequate fashion. Some of them have been positive experiences, and some of them have been negative, but all in all my time hanging out and training with Wushu has been one of enjoyable growth.

The peace of the park, the kite pilgrims with kites flying above and gorgeous views on clear days, the sunset stroll; it all contributes to the microcosm of Chinese culture and its role as microcosm of the Chinese experience. The beautiful landscape of the Chinese garden has a place at heart for Chinese including myself to enjoy the positive energies and emotional connection.

There is something so exhilarating about sunshine and warmth after a long cold winter. So, what is the same or different, and are the changes, pluses or minuses. Like the seasons, they are each unique. I don’t know about you, I will keep practicing my beats and do the verbal expressions to synch with the three-counts, “cha-cha-cha".


“What is noteworthy about that moment, beyond its poignancy, is that I did not create it; I merely experienced it and let it unfold.” – Taken from the Cab Ride by Kent Nerburn –

Pain in the ass

Changing passwords is little bit of a pain in the ass. Having many accounts with different passwords is even more painful. To avoid people from cracking the password we have many different passwords that bother the absurd. It appears that most people reuse the same passwords over and over, and often choose easy to remember, insecure phrases. These are ‘Lazy Passwords’ that are open to hacking attacks and unauthorized intrusions. System administrators always suggest using passwords that contain a mix of both numbers and alphabets; at least a capital and the use of a symbol. Here is something which is easy for the fingers but not a very good example: Qwerty8*
Many people have their favorite passwords, and a fear of not being able to remember the new ones. Are you going to change your password after seeing the list of top ten most commonly used passwords?

The voice of a Storyteller

I love to hear the voice of a great storyteller. As a child, I have always love the stage and imagine what I could do if the stage is mine to tell a story. It is not about Shakespeare and his world of actors. Since then it got me focus on things around me that got me interested in people and what goes on inside their mind. It helped me with my first job and created leaps for me to stay in the advertising world.

Storytelling is an art and it is increasingly relevant to our everyday lives and at work if you are in the communication, entertainment or interactive industry. Stories are more real and believable when they come from personal experiences. You can dramatize it with conviction if it is a great story but also a disaster to dress up a bad story, no matter what you do, you are sure to be in the ruins.

Imagine the power and strength when stories are passed from individual to individual, community to community, they grow. Everyone wants to hear a great story; everyone wants to tell a great story and everyone wants to participate in a great story. A brand without a great story is simply generic. The web is a great place, a platform for you to share if you are game in telling your story. The social web let audiences filter their choices with one just one click.

The last 5 years, storytelling has been at the heart of everything I do even at work; create lust and seduction, then dramatize the art of telling a story. The stories I often share are based on the 4 pillars; Lust, Get To Know, Intimacy, and Grow To Love; to drive the emotional connection. Being a good storyteller helps with the art of seduction to attract your audience.

Sometimes when I practice regression in therapy sessions, I get people to recreate stories from their personal memoirs. It is like playing a movie of what goes on your mind and peeling the layers off from the skin. I use different techniques in putting a story together and see from different perspectives. I shift from being the producer to spectator or from the editing room and then take more of the director’s role. I feel their responses like temperamental artists, deeply and emotionally invested.

I have a favorite storyteller, whom I had the privilege to work with; whose work and play of words have won many advertising awards around the world, later years becoming a talented director whose films garnered many awards of international recognition all due to her gifted talent – Yasmin, The Storyteller. Yasmin has created ads and movies that evoked our feelings and views through her openness and boldness in analyzing social issues. I have always loved Yasmin Ahmad’s films and commercials because in many ways they actually tell the story of my life.

Although I do not have the slightest effin clue on the A to Z best practices of making a box office film but I will continue with my journey. I love anything that exists when knowledge can be shared and the broadening of human experience. Storytelling is about an immediate context and connection with people. Film makers are far more experienced in telling stories and I will be happy to stand aside and tell my stories in the hope that at least (a few) others will find something valuable in them.

Am I going to be a duck? Or something that rhymes with duck.

I love how food tastes, looks and smells, but I also like how it feels in my mouth, especially under my teeth when I bite it – whatever goes into my mouth has got to be good and edible! If it’s not good food, I rather it goes to ‘waste and not to my waist’. As friends and foodies, we remind ourselves without feeling the guilt. Of course credits should be given to the ‘Amazing Grace’ another ex-pat living in Shanghai.

Texture plays an active, significant part in my enjoyment of food. Mushrooms are a texture thing; I love mushrooms, the nice slightly bouncy texture. The contrast on the other end with peanut butter like other texture food is creamy, while the nutty bits from the chopped peanuts give the flavour. When I feel like having a ‘mouthfeel’ of something creamy I’ll go for yogurts and dips.

Overcooked foods are the worst offenders. Pasta has to be “al dente” and anything less undercooked is gooey without the presence of any textural contrast. Using plenty of salt helps achieve the "al dente" texture. Cooking to the desired texture means "to the tooth". So the next time if you need pleasures from the mouth, as I am orally speaking, please remember to ask for “al dente” and forget about the rare and medium rare. I love crisp-tender broccoli; raw broccoli stems and raw cauliflowers are fine but I dislike anything slimy like Natto (Japanese fermented soya bean) and can you imagine Okra mixed in with Natto? It is sticky and slimy; it makes your skin crawl with the gluey, gooey but unappetizing lumpy texture.

Have you really ever thought about the relationship between food and love? We eat to enjoy till our hearts content. I love food and the reason I cook is because I love to eat. Since I moved to China, I have not been cooking for friends for a long while. My friends would know me for my creative food presentations and the fusion of food that complements the taste buds. I remember one evening when I cooked a Japanese meal which is one of my fortes; I whipped almost every dish with a dash of sake. Many people would not consider a Japanese meal complete without a bottle of sake, the fermented-rice spirit. Soon my guests were soaked with sake and plum wine till their unbelievable secrets were pouring out – the Sake Cruise which I could have rewritten the parts of Memoirs of a Geisha from the stories of these ex-geishas at my home. It is a long story and to cut it short, they were friends living lives with loads of sexual escapades, who think they are geishas. I can link them with the somewhat more romantic word 'courtesan'. This somehow reminds me of Annabel Chong when she was at the age of 22 who became famous by engaging in 251 sex acts with about 70 men over a ten-hour period, setting a world record. But none of my guest from the dinner could beat her world record… what a pain!

I cannot imagine if I were to slut and spend the day in bed with a stranger – limbs entangled, lips locked, and then later, slip under the covers with the real squeeze? How else could that squeeze banish thoughts of those hands groping another? It is weird for everyone. Actors do just that; act; if I were to break Annabel Chong’s record and play the role as an actor; do you think I can do it?

Part of my brain will be screaming: If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, am I going to be a duck? Or something that rhymes with duck. I better get back to food which is much better than a porn star - Food turns me on!

Foot note: Of course credits should be given to the ‘Amazing Grace’ another ex-pat living in Shanghai that inspired me to concoct this food for thought.

I bring myself to life as Susan Boyle lives her dream

I have not posted very much lately, for most of the past few months real life has gotten in the way. Not that I have been unmotivated but rather I was dancing in the rain embracing whatever that suppressed the flow of creative juices for the moment of time. Since the banned of Facebook plus a few others in China, I had the pleasures of indulging with outdoor activities during the few months of absence. Don’t get me wrong, the ban has not been lifted.

The year end is filled with reflection and introspection; as my fingers embrace this dance of life reflecting the many blessings of the last twelve months. Soon will be the New Year with hope, and inevitably with change. I adept to change with motion so swift, the transition to let go of the old 2009 in order to embrace the new, 2010. Before the old slips away, let’s review and reflect the mirror of blessings, the challenges; the hardship or the many changes in our lives.

Time passes by imperceptibly, changing like the seasons but in some aspects I found it slow in the very beginning of the year. I constantly remind myself of who I am; I am open to the vulnerability of being painfully honest. In this thoughtful contemplation, I look within myself for courage, for strength; and I allow the unfolding of the events to "be" whatever lies ahead of me.

Someone once asked me, “What are you grateful for right now?” The question was extremely timely for me and since then I have decided to reflect upon my life each night before I go to sleep; whether it be my daily activities, professional goals or business objectives; the evaluation offers me an opportunity to review if my chosen path is working for me, if I am accomplishing what I want for myself, with my partner, or sponsors with eternal loyalty, how I can continue with my indulgence, self pampering, and what I would change or maintain. It only takes me a few minutes to quietly reflect but it has provided such clarity to my world.

The simple quiet time actually makes my sleep more restful, my life less stressful and my outlook much more focused the following day. One of the things I appreciate is the people around me since I came to China and I value the quality of friendships rather than the quantity of friends. Acquaintances are important and I maintain quality relationships with many but true friendships are invalid in my lifetime and I guard them to the death.

I have dreams just like Susan Boyle and I dreamt of becoming a published author. In June 2008, I sold my first script, ‘Being Known’ for very little money. The little bit of money I made for my efforts as a ghostwriter was inconsequential in comparison to the lessons I learned along the way. Now, I am writing with a companion, getting paid for my efforts and soon to become the script writer for films I always knew I could be.

As you will discover in an earlier blog, I mentioned the game of life which I play to win. I remember the life lessons of Be-Do-Have to achieve my accomplishments. You have to be before you can do, and you have to do before you can have. If you don't, nothing you ever get will be enough. I know with absolute certainty that I can achieve my goals when my desires are greater then my intentions. For as they say, “It doesn’t matter if you take big steps or small steps as long as you keep moving toward your goals“.

A toast to the New Year……

May you embrace the past with remembrance and the future with longing.


“The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have“


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6jI_J2n0Hk

Being Creative and Being Happy

Do we know what really make us happy? Most often I do and there are times that I don’t know. With a background in psychology does help me to connect and piece the concept of happiness; understand mind over matters that filled my thoughts with confusions and the experiences I have seem oddly connected.

A college professor of psychology once said, "Happiness seems less a matter of getting what you want than of how you feel about what you have."

Happiness means different things to different people; many people may agree that things that make us happier like money, physical beauty, and social prominence do matter but that there are also other things that cause that little bounce.

Imagine just for a moment, put yourself first. You can’t be in the backseat to become Mother Theresa. You cannot love others if you don’t love yourself first, so start loving yourself instead of someone else. One most important thing which I’ve learned in life is not to short sell myself. When I hear my friends determine their own life's priorities, I am amazed at how many forget to make themselves a priority. If we do not take responsibility for our own happiness no one else will. If it’s to be, it’s up to me; if we are not happy, our relationships will not be satisfying and our other priorities will suffer. Don’t be sucked into the can-I-get-it-all-done daily hustle and be buried under an avalanche of concerns. So really knowing what makes you happy is as important as how it affects your whole life. In basic 101 coaching philosophy is "extreme self-care."

I have observed my youngest boy in physical pain and emotional stress while sparring with kick boxing and realize he is enjoying every moment. His enjoyment is a mix of spiritual and emotional while his happiness is rational judgment of physical conditions. So happiness is very subjective. I love the abstract of context and content of living in which it allows me to enjoy my life more with what I like to do which is more important than asking if I’m happy.

Ask me what makes me happy or sad and I’ll tell you these:

1) Happy: My two boys. Because the eldest is so full of life, graduated with a degree, financially independent and has a girl friend while the youngest is almost a young adult, makes good grades, is intelligent beyond his years, is respectful, isn't mindlessly gal crazy, stays in touch with me on a regular basis (a single dad), and asks me questions about life (everything!!).
To give and receive is a huge word with less effort. Happiness to me is to be constantly connected with friends and buddies, good music and someone to share it with. A quiet place to find myself when I get lost in the world.

2) Sad: People being killed and maimed in ridiculous wars. Wars occasionally have their place, but there are too many childish, greedy folks leading countries nowadays. Losing a friend to an accident. Knowing that a friend with cancer and just waiting for time, knowing I cannot truly save those people I love.

Happy may be as obsolete as the gold standard. Psychologist would argue that happiness is all about everyday activities but I believe we also need to understand how we can increase happiness too. I tend to apply creativity while finding the strategies to increase my own happiness.

I have a personal take that is influenced by creative terms like inspired by something, hit by an idea or struck by a thought. What these have in common is the idea of something coming from an outside thought that leads to a bigger idea. First, it’s the orientation that leads us to start seeding the thought with an idea and then the energy to magnify the channel of ideas. Creativity doesn’t occur in a vacuum. How it works for me is from conceptual to realization; I can feel the words, images, thoughts, forms, structures, relationships, notes or rhythms are coming from every corner and else where.

When I need to start something like writing a brief or develop a concept from nothing, I try to locate a creative hook, line or sinker. I would stare at my computer screen and wait for a muse to visit me, an idea to strike, or some other vaguely conceptualized kind of inspiration. Usually it doesn’t work. I end up feeling frustrated or leaving my computer and the blinking cursor, still looking for an inspiration. The truth is, there is no muse, there is no right frame of mind and there is no perfect moment. There is only now, here, right in front of you.

The language of inspiration has to do with excitement, being taken over by a strange force, which is when you can feel the creative juices flow through the self conscious self, enabling a beautiful flow of expression.

Nowadays, my way of approaching creativity is not by waiting for inspiration to strike but simply by starting with whatever I've got right here, right now. Creativity is all about action and the end result is happiness. I know there are some who enjoy drawing nudes in crayon that makes them happy or write poetry. Do whatever makes you happy and, as Maria von Trapp knew, simply remembering a few of your favourite things will bring a lilt to your step and a smile to your face - and then you won't feel so bad after all!

Friends and lovers

Let the rain wash away our footprints and clear our past. Let the light shine and brighten our lives. Let the sea calm us and the trees give us shade to protect us. You see love surrounds us, maybe not in the conventional way. It is not always a person, but the world that loves us; the beauty and love in the world.

TO THE ONE I LOVE....
He can toss a dish and clam your appetite
I wait and ask when it’ll be ready
He alone decides who writes the recipe
While I write a symphony
He lights the candles and prepares the wine
I make our darkness bright and select the tune
He keeps watch and practices his foreign language
I compose my notes to watch each long and lonely night
He still finds the time to hear the concertos
I prefer to hear a child's first prayer.
Saint or sinner call and always find Him there
Absent minded and mindless, I’m everywhere.

My wish is granted and a dream comes true
Watch the clouds turn from grey to blue;
I wish to find where the rainbow's end
Only he can see what lies beyond the bend
Let me hold your hand and lead you to our father, “How great thou Art”.

I began to have feelings for my best friend, who is with someone. I couldn't help feeling this way because of the kindness and caring to me, more than my friends ever have. I was told that the friend had feelings for me also, I had to write this as my gift for being best friends.


LUST CAUTION – CRY OF A DESPERATE HOUSEBOY....
I live through my dark existence
only to bask by your charm
your face shows full of wit and mischief
the smile of your lips
makes your dimples go deep
I have a glimpse of you from my screen
I long to touch you
to hold you in my arms but I cannot
for your heart belongs to another
so, I can only long you from afar
your friendship means more to me
than anything this world provides
but like an angel you touched my heart
in a way that I've never felt before
cause I've never known inseparable buddies are until this day
I know that we are only friends
but my heart wishes it to be more
so I will still hope and dream
that one day I can feel your lips pressed to mine
to hold you in my arms and say, "I love you"


Platonic love is very much a part of any close friendship. But such a love doesn't always stay platonic. Sometimes it turns into passionate love. Crossing that line, between friendship and love, can be both beautiful and extremely difficult. Friendship is a marvelous gift but sometimes a friend can also be a lover. Oh, what a beautiful combination; BEAUTIFUL CONNECTION!

A SONG FROM MADONNA from the movie,"EVITA"
Where do we go from here?
This isn't where we intended to be
We had it all, you believed in me I believed in you
Certainties disappear
What do we do for our dream to survive?
How do we keep all our passions alive?
As we used to do?
Deep in my heart I'm concealing
Things that I'm longing to say
Scared to confess what I'm feeling
Frightened you'll slip away
You must love me
You must love me
Why are you at my side?
How can I be any use to you now?
Give me a chance and I'll let you see how
Nothing has changed
Deep in my heart I'm concealing
Things that I'm longing to say
Scared to confess what I'm feeling
Frightened you'll slip away
You must love me
You must love me
You must love me

click to hear the song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06F7wOGEUcI